what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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