you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
