That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
