Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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