Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize