this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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