Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
