Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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