the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
