with your own penis?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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