and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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