Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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