Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
