something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
