If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
