Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
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My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
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i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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