my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
