So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize