Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
