he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
