ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
