were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
