And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
