Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
