In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize