dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
