Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
