i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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