Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
