I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
