i was born a porn star she said
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
