So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
you never un-have a 4some
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize