I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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