i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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