I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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