I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
my poor anus
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
