Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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