I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
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