Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
