What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
