how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
