White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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