I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
