I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My pussy is not your playground.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
