I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
