Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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