I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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