we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
