So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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