he wants to bone in the snuggie
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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