Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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