4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize