He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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