But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
