This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
