What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
