your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
