Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
