Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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