he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize