sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You pole danced in your parka.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
