Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
