Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
