everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
